Now that I’m a convicted felon, my once impressive resume doesn’t mean much, and now I’m a maid. To add insult to injury, I’m still paying child support even though the adoption is final. Apparently I owe them from the first year when I didn’t even know I was supposed to be paying it. So for 3 years now they have been taking a large chunk of my tiny check every payday and I wasn’t even allowed to see him. My horrible uncle (the county commissioner) lives just 3 driveways down from me, and he sees my son. They all have me blocked on facebook so I can’t even just see how he is doing. I didn’t know cruelty like this existed in real life. I was a normal, educated, successful 29 year old woman just raising my son and taking care of my sick mom when my world ended. Apparently their is a high demand for blonde hair, blue eyed, baby boys on the black market….it sounds ridiculous and a few years ago I wouldn’t have believed it’s possible, but when the head of CPS in this town is put on “personal leave” for suspicion of taking excessive amounts of money when certain children were adopted, and when the time line of my case fit perfectly and all the things they were doing made sense all of a sudden……I 100% believe that was their goal. Sorry to run on, it’s hard to stop once I get started. I’m just so angry, and the pain never gets any easier to bear. I know you understand. It’s indescribable pain, and only women that have gone thru it understand. My CPS worker didn’t have kids, she couldn’t understand my attitude and hostility towards the room full of strangers telling me over and over again that I’m a horrible mother. When she asked me why during one of the court hearings why I wasn’t being more grateful, I answered with “what happens when you take a baby away from a wild animal? Usually one of two things. They either attack with every ounce of their being, or they go insane….but no mother, wild or not, is going to be grateful” I admit, I wasn’t very easy to deal with, I pissed off a lot of people, mainly the judge, which is why I’m now an ex con. So anyway, I’m going to let you go, thanks for listening and I know I’m fighting a losing battle, because even if I could get him back, I love him enough to not want him hurt with my selfish need to be his mom again. I wouldn’t take him from his happy life where he has two loving parents (my only saving grace) and drag him into my crappy life. He doesn’t know me anymore, the damage is done, and he shouldn’t have to pay for it. I don’t want money, or revenge, I just want it to stop. I want all this pain to serve a purpose. I want to stop it from happening to someone else. This town is in constant fear of losing their children and they should be. Because anyone with a bachelor’s degree in squid fishing can take a few online courses and then be considered qualified to walk into your home without reason or evidence and take your child. My life could be a lifetime movie, it’s unbelievable what they have gotten away with. I just want it to stop.